Bring it On

I have had a hell of a week and by I, I mean most teachers in LIFE and especially in Baniyas here in AD and even more at Omair bin Yousef school. The kids are done, exhausted and so over school. And our school "behavior" has taken on a whole new term. Holy moly. Rough...real rough. 

Yesterday was the first day I felt like I actually hated it here. I hated everything. After a series of events gone wrong and so much frustration, I came to this conclusion (yesterday). Yep, I said it... I had a breakdown. I really don't cry much at all and am not really emotional but pouring your whole life and every ounce of what you have in your students is so incredibly exhausting. When you are not appreciated, it is exhausting. When you feel like you're doing all you can do, it's exhausting. 

This was me this week. A bad TUDE (a.k.a. attitude)

I came home yesterday in a pout and Stephen had come home during lunch. Had a bag of Cheetos, my favorite flavored water and flowers waiting for me. I dropped my things at the door and cried. (Ya...he's pretty awesome). I had hit my breaking point. 

That night we went to the Yas F1 track, ran 5k and he listened to me rant and rave the whole way. We came home, made dinner, had a glass a couple glasses of wine and here I am today. I felt so renewed, ready to take on the day, ready to conquer. And any kid that was getting in my way was...well...probably shouldn't say ;) This is what breakdowns do for you, you can only go up from there!

Needless to say I had a decent day. Well just "normal crazy" and the boys were probably scared of what I might do today given the circumstances this week. This is good ;) Had a great time with teachers at coffee after school, came home and went to the gym. 

Okay all this to say, here's the deal and here's what I learn over and over and over again. It's time I share it. No matter my circumstance, no matter how much I love or hate my life, no matter how much I'm frustrated, or happy, or rich, or poor, my circumstances don't change who I am in Christ. I am still rooted in Him no matter what is going on around me. 

I pray for God to give me HIS perfect peace, HIS love, HIS patience and the past few days I tell you it was nowhere to be found. I prayed anyway. I surrendered my days, my kids, my coworkers, my frustrations to God whenever I felt my blood boil. And it sure boiled a lot. I didn't know what else to do. I have and I'm sure again will be so caught up in the frustrations that are happening around me, and even more so as long as we stay in Abu Dhabi that I know I will "re-experience" this over and over again.  

I am so amazed at how the Lord works. In the most complex situations as well as the most simple ones. He gave me joy today that I oh so freakin' needed. I hit my low and even if I had a horrible day today, or the rest of the year, God doesn't change. His love doesn't, His faithfulness doesn't, His promise doesn't. No matter what's going on with me or in me or what's not working right is not the focus. Jesus is the same yesterday as He is today, will be tomorrow and forever. 

What an amazing blessing and profound experience that is. Each. And. Every. Time. 

So bring on the rain, God, if that's what keeps me close to you! My life has been forever changed through the faithfulness of Jesus. 

Peace and Love peeps.